Reasons to Believe Rob Ford is Superhuman

10. He can turn centrists into extreme right-wing ideologues

9. He has x-ray vision that sees through widespread police abuses

8. He had 483 election signs spontaneously install themselves

7. He can make $346 million disappear (on a conservative mandate)

6. He takes an average of sixty calls every day

5. He can alleviate traffic by compounding traffic
4. He can conjure a thirty year tradition out of thin air
3. He can simultaneously lose and gain $70 million
2. He can turn 107% into 1000%
1. He can turn $70 million into $700 million